Stepping away from practical stuff for a bit here, I was listening to radio lab's show about "diagnosis," and was struck by the comments of a pathologist looking at cancer ridden tissue. She said, "This person should find a beautiful place on earth and just stay there until it's over." And I actually cried just thinking how much I will miss this place when I die; thinking of all the times I've had my breath taken away by a place I could never have imagined; thinking of all the people who've made my life worth living; thinking of passionate moments that move in slow motion in my memory; thinking of the sensation of doing what I didn't think was possible; the joy of sweating; thinking of time with my mom and my sister. I am really going to miss this place when I go, and I wonder if these are the thoughts that go through most people's minds when they pass. I think all of us, in one way or another, experienced life here in a magnificent and unique way in our own minds. I might look at someone else's life and think it wasn't anything special, but I'm sure they have all their accomplishments, sights, and people, that they're not ready to let go of. And I can only wonder how sad it must be to die alone, with nothing really to live for, but fearing death all the same. This really is an incredible place we live in, and it's made more incredible by its transience.
On a similar note, I was watching Maddow last night talking about Ryan's understanding of foreign policy; she said something to the extent of, "you can tell he only learned this stuff for the test, and has no real understanding of the material." That's a familiar concept from school, but so rarely have I thought to apply it in real life. It is something that I struggle with, because in my life, I am careful not to expose myself to too much suffering, so I don't know what it's like to go bankrupt, lose my house, live in the ghetto, live on food stamps, be a soldier, etc. I read about their struggles and needs, but how much can I REALLY understand of those situations? How superficial would my understanding of suffering be? Would I be too insulated from these hardships to be qualified to speak on behalf of anyone going through them? Or would I be more uniquely qualified because I recognize this shortcoming? It seems this should be a humbling reality to anyone intent on making decisions for others. This could easily be brushed off as an unavoidable reality -- we all only have one life to live, and no man could possibly experience/understand everything -- but that's not to say it should ever be forgotten or not taken into consideration.
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